Friday, 4 March 2011

Day the first...

So... Welcome.
Come in, please. Sit yourself down. Have some tea. Have some carrot cake. I made it myself. You’re watching your weight? I understand. Not that I think you need to do that. You look terrific. Really.
You managed to find me, then. It’s difficult, I know. Cyberspace is such a big place. They should put up more street signs. But I’m glad you made it.
Who the f*** am I, you ask (insert ‘flip’ or other suitable word here; although not ‘frog’ or ‘flap’ – that would just be silly).
How rude of me. I should have said. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Published Author #392,475,378.
Really, you say. They keep count of such things?
Well, actually, no they don’t. I made it up. I’m a novelist, and that’s what novelists do. We make sh** up. (Only two asterisks to play with here. Feel free to add more if you think you need them. I wouldn’t want to limit your creativity).
The novel I’ve written is called Pariah. It’s published by Macmillan in the UK and comes out on March 4th, 2011. Which is TODAY! (I know, I can hardly believe it myself. I get all misty-eyed just thinking about it).
Cool, you say. What’s it about?
Glad you asked. Dowse the lights. Cue the rousing music. Cue the impossibly deep voice-over.
Think of all the people close to you. Your friends. Your family. Your work colleagues.
Now imagine if they started to die. And the reason they are dying is because of you. Because of what they mean to you.
If you want to save them, there’s only one thing you can do. Sever all your relationships. Become a loner. An outcast. A pariah.
How long could you carry on like that? And what would you give to get your life back?
End of serious stuff. If that’s tickled your fancy, you can find out more at my website:
I’m going to continue posting here on my blog. I’m going to let you know what’s going on with the book, and with the books to follow. I’m also going to try passing on some of the tips I’ve picked up about writing and getting published. In the meantime, I’d like to get to know you a little better (apologies if that comes across as a little creepy; try to avoid imagining it being uttered in a Hannibal Lecter voice). I invite you to post a message below. Go on, say something, even if it’s only Hi. And come back again soon. Next time I’ll bake some muffins.

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